What a vile idea. Getting up early on the only holiday between Labor Day and Christmas–a morning invariably overcast and bone-chillingly wet–just to run an obscure race that no one will hear about. And the name is a misleading come-on, just like in “turkey shoots” not a single turkey-fowl is harmed or processed at these events, or even forced to wear a numbered bib.

In fact only thing that can be said in favor of the whole Turkey Trot concept is that 5-mile and 5k road races are otherwise thin on the ground this time of year (what is it about the number “5” that goes with “summer” anyway?). So the scheduling is perfect if you’ve got a big race (say, a points race) coming up in a couple weeks and you’re not ready to tear your legs up in a 15k.

Not an all-inclusive list by any means:

PPTC Turkey Trot 5-Mile (9 am Thanksgiving Day, Nov. 22, Brooklyn). The classic. Until 2002 a key event in the NYRR race schedule. Since then it’s been managed by the Prospect Park Track Club. A deceptively brisk loop-and-a-half of Prospect Park. Expect 850 runners, more if the sun makes an unwonted appearance. Interesting souvenirs, fancy finisher medals, impressive post-race treats. And, most famously, “holiday pies” (is that like pumpkin?) to the top three finishers of each sex. The pies are said to be excellent, and big enough to share. In fact you might want to consume the whole pie before you leave, so you don’t have to field inane questions on the IND. (How far did you have to run? Oh, my knees are hurting already. Did you have to pay for this race? Wouldn’t it have been easier just to buy a pie?) One downside to this race it that it’s tag-scored rather than chip-scored. [Correction: It is indeed chip-timed, and very curious-looking chips they are.] Timing method does not matter if you happen to be first, as John Roberts was last year.

Rockland Road Runners 5 Mile Turkey Trot (8:30 am, Rockland Lake State Park, NY), on the other hand, is ChampionChip-timed, so you don’t have to worry that a race volunteer will lose count and give you the finish time of that person 12 seconds behind you. Course: a double loop around a lake. About 1400 participants expected. Kate Irvin won the women’s in ’05 and ’06 (and holds the female record at 29:29) and Russ Pfeffer was second overall last year with 27:27. Downside to this race is you can’t get to Rockland County by subway. Or perhaps that’s the upside.

The Bedford Turkey Trot 5k (9 am, Bedford Village, NY) has the immense advantage of a) being on Saturday the 24th, and b) being a 5k. Participation: 200-300. Awards: website doesn’t say. You can get to Bedford Hills station on the New York Central’s Harlem Line (aka Metro North), but in those farther reaches of Westchester County you often have to phone for a taxi and then be prepared to give directions. Then again, maybe you have a car.

The Westfield NJ 5-mile Turkey Trot is also on Saturday, but at a more civilized hour (11 am). It is also slightly closer, easier to get to by public transport (train or bus). Website mentions “Hot chicken soup & crackers – plus other great refreshments!” Why chicken and not turkey soup is anyone’s guess. (Oh of course – no turkeys harmed or processed – how soon we forget.)